Many people love Psalm 139, for many reasons, but at the very end of the Psalm, this is where David asks God to ”search his heart” and to ”test” his anxious thoughts.
Let’s be honest, this is a bold prayer! Not because God will find out about the mess in our lives (because He already knows everything) but because it shows the true desire of our hearts
This lifetime is about freewill and obedience. One where we sometimes have to go against the natural inclination of the worldly viewpoint, to follow the One who saves our soul
How many of us are hesitant to pray these words? To be vulnerable and truly open our hearts?
This revelation came to me when I realised that this prayer wasn’t for God’s benefit to hear me say. That’s a strange statement, I know, but what I mean is, sometimes prayer becomes about what we think we want God to hear, but it’s not about that, and never should be…
When I pray for God to ”search me”, it’s so that His redeeming light will permeate every part of my being.
I want to walk in freedom
I want to live life as God created it to be, and yes, there will always be mistakes from my part. But that’s why the second part of the prayer asks God to test our anxious thoughts. We wouldn’t be anxious if there weren’t wrong paths to take, valleys to go through, mountains to climb and any other metaphor that the Christian walk symbolises
Friends, we need to realise that there will always be mess in our house, no matter how clean we think that it is, but it’s understanding that God loves us unconditionally regardless of the junk. It’s never been about that, but more, that we want Him to be apart of our whole lives, and that includes the clutter and the broken bits
”Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24