Honestly, at specific points in my life, I hated my biological Father…
I hated that he told me that I wasn’t wanted. I hated that I never felt good enough. I hated that I didn’t meet his expectations, as a girl
I spent years trying to get my Dad’s approval, or even, to get him to notice me. Yet in the end, it became a destructive behaviour, and I realised that I was destroying myself over something that I didn’t think could be achieved
Then I read the Scripture found in Luke 6, and I began to pray for my Dad.
The man I thought, would rather see me dead – I prayed a blessing over.
The man who had told me countless times that he wished he swapped me at birth – I prayed for God to reveal who He created my Dad to be.
I prayed for restoration of our relationship.
I prayed to see the good in my Dad’s heart, but I also prayed for the light to shine in the black hole that was in mine.
I prayed that God would heal me, and that my bitterness, my frustrations, my constant need to be right, or to compare myself to others, would go. But most of all – I wanted the fear of rejection…gone
Friends, I want to encourage you that the enemy wants us to hate this world, and hopefully, everyone else in it – for the simple reason that God is love.
When I let go of the expectations regarding my Dad, there was a spiritual shift in our relationship, and it no longer became about what he hadn’t done in my life, but more, what we could become together from that moment on.
The resentment, bitterness, anger, and hate, started to disappear, and it was replaced with love and compassion.
It’s understanding that love happens in an instant when we truly meet God, but also, realising that every single person has a Heavenly Father that loves us beyond measure, and that takes the pressure and expectations off our earthly Dad’s.
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Luke 6:27-28